好的事情

好的事情 (Good Thing) is the ending song for 醉後決定愛上你(Drunken to Love you). Makes me wanna cry every time listening to this song. Another emotional song penned with good lyric. Oh how I hate listening love song that makes me cry especially the one that stucked in my head all the time haha. I love the part he mentioned in the lyric, although good things will eventually ends, whats important is not how long it lasted but the process of it - as long as we remember the journey, the 'good thing' will be kept forever in our heart. Perhaps the end is a good start - 'good thing' can always be brought back through our memory.

Wish I could bite! Grrr~

He said "I should have stopped you from using 3Dmax in the beginning. I've worked with so many designers and I can already predict the list of problems you will face... (bla bla blah)"

...and I was like "Just tell me the conclusion damnit!"

Just not worthy

RR sent me a message on Facebook saying that he will be in town in a couple of day and would like to catch up. I was hesitated at first whether to accept his invitation or not. However, it sounds more logical to reject. After all he's just not worthy to keep in touch anymore. I hate to learn that I've trusted the wrong guy. The fact that he wasn't as descent as I thought he was, disappoint me a lot... having to think of the number of girls he had cheated made me feel like a fool and at the same time disgusted with the way he sees relationship. Yeh, call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to be friend with someone who is honest and trustworthy.

Amy Winehouse

What? Amy Winehouse is dead?! Right, who cares if she's dead or not. Well, I wish I'm dead too :p

My questions has been answered

So I was curious to see his new photos he just uploaded. He was in Taiwan, with the same girl I saw him on pictures four years ago. Can't deny it breaks my heart a bit looking at those pictures, it just wasn't easy looking at them... I tried to glance just as fast as I could, hoping that my uneasy feeling ended as soon as possible. But my curiosity couldn't end just there. From album to album, picture to pictures I clicked... till I reach to the moment of ugly truth.
All these while I blamed myself for causing our break-up. I blamed myself for letting him walkaway. I blamed myself for not compromised enough when we're together. I was immature back then.
I never want to analyze further why did he walkaway irresponsibly, I tend to give myself all sorts of excuses so that I will not hate him, I tend to give myself assumptions that he got his reason for leaving, a good reason... But not until I saw those pictures. I finally understand the reason why he left. No matter how hard I tried to save our relationship, no matter how much I've done for him and no matter how much I tried to change myself to be a better person, he will eventually leave. Simply because I'm not the only one he claimed to be in love with...
The day he left, I was feeling from horrible to miserable. I couldn't even dare to stay awake. I stayed in my room, lying infront of my computer doing nothing but hoping to see him online. And when he finally came online, he ignored me, that hit me just as painful as a knife cutting through my chest. I could just stop breathing.
I couldn't believe of all the miseries I'm dealing with, he was there in the club having a good time. Then, left to Cambodia and Taiwan as though he has never known me.
I keep asking myself right now, how can I never see that? How can I be so blind?? Everybody told me that our relationship is impossible to work, they discourage me from falling so deep, but I choose to have faith in him just to prove them wrong. I used to believed that we were brought together for a reason - the stars aligned. And so I believed everything he ever told me. I even believed he told me that he don't have a cellphone! Who on earth that don't own a cellphone (except for my mother! ughh!) Why I was so stupid back then?? I put my biggest bet on this guy, but he let me down. Honestly, I never blamed him for walking away, because I know I wasn't being the best when we're together. I was too insecure, demanding and needy. I wanted him to be deeply in love with me and eventually move to Quebec, settle down with him! But I was so wrong about him! When I look back now, putting back all the missing puzzles, I finally get the real picture.
When I proceeded to his Philippines album... my feeling get uglier and uglier. There, I saw him with this Pinoy girl, them on a beach vacation, I was like.. I can't believe what my eyes were looking at... it reminds me of our moment together in Tioman back in 2006 - same venue, same guy, same feeling, just different asian girl. I was so much disgusted. Disgusted for falling for someone I thought he's one in a million, but it turns out he's a womanizer? I feel angry but at the same time I felt pity for that girl. It was like looking into the mirror of my past, that she actually know nothing about his true color. How many asian girl has fell for this guy and has their heart broken... I asked.

I need a break!

Feeling so so so so stressed lately. The Malaysia Furniture Design Competition is stressing me out mainly. The level of creative thinking everyday is melting my brain. *Argghhh!*
And I can't stop thinking about all my assignments, I'm tired. I'm so worn out. My thoughts are just running in circles.
Last week, I only got to sleep 4 hours max a day. Its quite depressing. Endless group meetings, assignments and so on...
Was just looking at FB and saw almost everyone of my friends going out and having fun. Am I missing out? :( *Sigh* when I do go out, the thought of regret will be constantly playing in my head. Reminding me that I do not deserve to have fun.
I guess its my own fault for choosing to go back to college again. Oh well, I have no regrets for taking Interior Design as my 2nd degree but I do wish to have sometime to just go out and chill every now and then.
I hope this week will be better as I have some exciting plans to pamper myself for a bit :)

Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!

I thought I would never receive his updates ever again once I put him under the blocked list. However this little apps at the rightside of FB page really starting to annoys me much having to see his name on the suggested 'friends photo album'.

Heavy hearted

Sitting in Stansted’s McDonald having my last bite of meal here. So sad that I have to leave, I wish I could stay here forever…

Surrrh-priseee!

Wow why issues between mom and dad always arises when I’m not around?? Previously, they stop talking when I was in Australia and now mom runaway from home??! It surprised me to have received a message from sis on New Year’s Eve that mom runaway from home. Before I left everything was ok between the both of them. ‘OK’ in the sense of no fighting and yet no talking with each other haha! It never give a ring to me that mom would runaway (especially when I’m not around!). Thought atleast she should have wait for me to come back… Now all my stuff is back home and sis ask me not to get them back until they have settled with dad. –Bugger- I’m so full with blankness. What’s actually happening down there?? Hello, I’ve been gone only for 2 weeks~