Terrified

So DC's back...
Spoke to him this morning (for the very first time after what happened 2 weeks ago).
However, the feelings is different now. I had to be very careful with every single word that's coming out from my mouth to avoid the second misunderstanding... *sigh*

Let-go. Move-on

It's hard I know, but I have to do it... it sucks that I have to go through this again and nobody can help me but MYSELF!

Sometimes I just wish to leave this place for good because everything in this place reminds me of him...

I need my lucky charms

As I thought everything went on well so I figured it's the right time for me to throw that question to DC. His answer was rather disappointing to me. He said if we are going to be in a relationship, it's going to be a tough one; claiming that I’m giving him a lot of pressures that he’s not earning enough money to be with me. I was like ‘bullshit! Where was that come from??!’ It was all lame excuses I can tell! Well I should have guessed the conclusion really... since he's just not serious almost about anything so what makes me think he is serious about me? Moreover, I never have luck in any relationship anyway. It's always either the timing problem or me meeting the wrong guy... somehow most guys I met just didn't measure up to my image of 'Mr. Right'. Because there was one man I can never forget...
RR used to made me feel like as though I'm the luckiest girl on earth, then he just crushed me into pieces and ignored me like I don't even worth a penny. And when I was about to give up, DC showed up in my life being someone who has potential. But it’s a ‘no exceptional’ case. I still couldn’t find any luck through him…